instagram hearts

I was talking a friend down from worrying about whether or not a guy was going to “like” her photo on Instagram when it hit me. This is where we are now? We’re posting photos for the sole purpose of getting that one special person to notice it and hit a little heart with his thumb. It’s a motion that takes half a second, but we’re putting the weight of entire potential relationships on it.

Forgive my french, but shit. Technology has screwed us up, y’all. We need a break.

Consider this: Instagram is a FREE app. You probably downloaded it to your phone last year (or if you’re a real tech genius – in 2011). You’ve posted, what, between 400 and 500 photos by now? You’re documenting everything from your cute brunch drink to your day on the beach. You’re spending 3 to 5 minutes taking a photo, choosing a filter, and posting it into the abyss of the handheld internet. Do you realize how many thumbs will scroll right past it? How often do you swipe through your feed because you’re bored? Do you “like” everything you see? (God, I hope not — That would make you incredibly annoying).

So then, are you honestly thinking that he is making a conscious decision to like or not like the incredible piece of art you posted (Read: Selfie on the beach)? You think he’s scrolling through Instagram during his lunch break thinking “If I like this, she may think we’re moving too fast”.  Or maybe he’s playing hard to get “I better not like this, lest she think I’m going to propose”.

I’m so sorry for laughing at your genuine concern. Really, I mean it. I know I’m your sarcastic friend… but please hear the seriousness in my voice when I ask this — is this really what we’re worrying about now? I don’t get to just freak out over how long it takes a guy to answer a text or call me back, like the women of olde? Now I have to wonder if, in a quick moment of boredom, he thought my meaningless photo (with the absolutely gorgeous filter action) was worthy of a tap of the thumb?

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